This fuckign machine
keeps slowing me
this religion
keeps my head busy
this lady
keeps the rest
in/action
an im getting sick
hallowed
losing me
i got echoes
scraps of papers
and memories of san francisco
everydaying it out
the great ham n egger
the grand could have been
the The
END
or maybe just frustrated
but then again
arent we all
lost to train wrecks
car crashes
an whatever takes our mind
from where we stopped
isnt that why they called it
a settlement
an i never concluded
all this talent
would have me poor
part time
on christmas eve
bickering with my new wife
over
partying
but most terrible people
hate when they see
reflections of
themselves
rubbed off on loved ones
2
brother gone
to idaho woods
an snow plain risk it alls
volvoing
while joe nobody
got warm coffee
an enough room on his lap
for all his children
an lips ready
for dull wifey
its raining today
3
leave the good times
to the young
i get headaches
an sometimes vomit
let them
dance the night away
my hips an knees cant take it
is that salt
an candy
get it away
hope some filtered
water
im almost thirty
an health is it at a priority
if im gonna make a
good retirement
plan
an afford
the rv
or trips
well decay
on
pucker lipping
an ahh nicing
picture
postcards
to grand children
or first children
along with just a big enough
check
to get a response
4
where are the long
cadillacs
with fire
burning
like the nose
of appoclypse's horse
wheres the
fat belly bottles
of carlos rosi
my eyes did seen
but whose got
time for adventure
when theres christ
an leaves to rake
5
bukowski was wrong
shakespere
did most what
everybody else does
we all gotta make a living
an we all gotta struggle
if we gonna make ourselves
too
the gutters been
home to everybody
but the birthrite
so fuck paris hilton
an her phony dirt
covered chanel skirt
its not a real
adventure
if theres no question
about how to
dodge the bill
6
even now
at a most certain plateau
i can see the elevation
rise
an know there is
always more to come
7
shes a real beauty
like a showered lunatic
with a fake diamond
ring
hollering one thing
an doing the other
shes an angel
smashing lamps
and
using a dust pan
to pick it up
sometimes causing her
fingers to bleed
shes real pure
rubbing her sex
an shaking her sex
an moving her sex
across the stomach of
hungry men
while asking about her
husband
claiming drunk
but i dont think
a women ever gets
anything
off anything
an its all an act
but we make a real smart
team
if i can keep my
mouth shut
an stay firm
in my absence
from her
madness
as darling as they are
woman are only after breaking things
now how would that help me?
8
ill go to church
to stand stoic
an concerned
consternated
then off to feed the hobos
for some pentenance
though nobody helped
me
an i made it through
but
to be honest
that was before i
was baptised
an more was
expected from me
so we'll goodwill it out
an then
maybe afterwards
ill come home
an fuck her asshole
yesterday
i get rather
furious
about the things
i wreckingballed
i am no good
at everymanning
whistle necktieing
life away
with credit cards
an spec home
suv
drive to
the local stuff your face
to dim candle look
at this womans face
whom i married
to share
cable vision
an increasing girth
with
i am uncomfortable
in that lavish
successful
lifestyle
employing it out
today
ive taken up painting
an writting software
going on job interviews
finding ways to blow them
entertainment
you
know
theres miles
of life ahead
my guts hurt
so's it feels like a
heart attack
better things arrive
miss my friends...
i need to get famous fast
this workaday doom
dont suit me
on my wedding day
i want to kiss her
with substance
an fury
of a man on fire
irreplaceable
in the pantheon of
american literature
with a life of better
fr newborn babies
an we river run it out
to ocean heaven
not damned up
in spec house
communities
getting numb
an heavy about the waist
as
innocents die a world
away
i talk invoices
or pizza toppings
bless them
she leaves
i miss tonight.
im gonna lose my
heart
for a few days
sleepless nights
but i got a plan
im gonna visit graveyards
an leave fresh flowers
find old ladies to treat for
breakfast
ride
atop retired horses
scream
they
aint lost
their speed
im gonna dream
an write long stories to nowhere
for free
im gonna visit our new home
curse the sun for not
going to bed sooner
understand the unbearable length
of an hour or a day
work
keep myself busy
do pushups
pal with naif
eat mary's cooking
gonna find myself
lonely
an all over the place
but clean
fr her thursday
arrival
gonna
hold on then
an kiss
an whisper
an hold tight
understand
it's real hard some lives
to let go
i'll miss you heart
when yr beating some hundreds
miles away
man
i
love
this
woman
god, please...
home to me
amen.
prayer
in san francisco
i prayed
through all nite drunks
that took me to
midnight drugs
near gasoline alley
or kerouac lane
i prayed
before busses
with dirty knees
in the gutter mop hair
sweat slick
from leaving
her warm belly pillow
i prayed
pre dawn
in golden gate park
with red nose an eyes
to the hum
of the bums
freightrain dreams
with street light
camp fires
an empty carlos rossi bottles
in san francisco
where i talked tolstoy
an wore an old slouch hat
i prayed
to the mooing ships
of the bay
to the ricochet firework towers
of economics an glass
i prayed
to mercy
to end of hunger pangs
to end of hardwood mattress
to strength
an the author's vision
i prayed
innocent an on fire
i prayed
in the city with shadows
longer than the shadow of death
i prayed
an witnessed silence
an more hunger
an more hardwoods
until
forty days later
a box arrived
from portland oregon
containing a sleeping
bag
an eight pounds of trail mix
thirty dollars cash
an a note from home
saying
'your father'
an
i knew god was good
now
tonight
i begin again
in prayer
tomorrow
ill start watching fr
signs
amen
i done hard times, in west ohio
thinking of my better half, to my life...
when that train blows, out my window
tells me cant keep wasting precious time...
so i sold my goat, an i hit the road
with john rudd by my side...
an it took the grains, to ease the pain
so we hard drunk it out my mind...
then we found a stage, where they let us play
standard country tunes to pass their lives...
men in white hats held women in whites hats
spinning in circle squares feeling alive...
then another stage, an another cage
we'd get paid to play an survived...
so i look back, from my ohio shack
an wonder which stop got my life...
i done hard times, in west ohio
watching the sun set on the tide...
ast sunday
visions from jesus
(during communion
when denied
food an drink)
i starved
a sinner
in the desert
of pews an stern
sing alongs
dreaming of sustenance
only to find
most oasis'
are illusions
while
my favorite sneakers
clothes
gained ripped holes
stigmata?
i pray for my work gloves
an favorite long sleeve shirt.
winters coming
be too cold to bury them
an hope
for easter revival
in conclusion
when i had denied
the devil
an returned from my seclusion
we ate american gut busters
i remember most men
from the desert got
deep faces
like wise old babies
good people ...
i appreciate their friendship
an fear their hearts break
as israel bombs away
the morning
i sit
in the grass
watching grasshoppers
when you
abuse yrself
over questioned
faith
but darling
god is good
lets get a gyro
theres no conversation
in these bugs
this sunshine day
i go mad
writ books an stories
met demons
an devils
an angels alike
yr all a motherfuck
self centered
an willing to abuse
willing to wail
of yr better
things judgements an opinons
well motherfuck
we die
an rot
an fade
no matter
yr check size
or pulitzer prize
an if you look close enough
darlings
wont you see
whose the hero here?
it dont get easier
in the graveyard
ghosts
but i got god
to listen too
II
i gave a
child
an
my dogs away
so now
tell me about
the
hard times
honey
today
sometimes things
are a motherfucker
an then that
same day
you could water yr lawn
an watch the rainbow
in it's spray
thinking
'there's gold buried everywhere'
god is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment